~ Watch me
~ Note me
~ Give Points
Well, I seem to be writing quite a few of these lately, don't I?
hhmmm....possibly because I don't have the usual outlets for venting my frustrations at the moment, so you lot have to suffer instead!!
Blimey! It's snowing!! I can't believe it!!! I thought we'd got away with it this year!...but no...we haven't. Now some of you might not think it's such a big deal...Yes, I'm talking about you Canada, and Sweden!! But it still is pretty rare here, and our country just isn't set up for it. I don't want this to be a catalyst for someone to write about all the other things that England is crap at....you know who you are.
If it settles, there will be trouble ahead...
It's been very frustrating today, and the last few days really. My sarc has taken a turn for the worse (you may have noticed by my last journal
) and breathing is becoming increasingly more difficult. I've been off work today...every breath I take in makes my lungs burn...I can almost feel every inch of them...such a bizarre feeling...
I know that I am also behaving more than a little erratic and emotional...yup, even more so than normal. I think it's a result of the feeling of uselessness I get when confronted by this stupid disease...I'm lashing out...and I'm sorry.
I am, by nature, a very very emotional person...I love freely and easily, but when hurt I will bite back, and be cruel....but then the remorse I feel for hurting someone I love tears me apart...I'm my own worst enemy.
So...if anyone feels that I've been short or uncaring...or just a right royal pain in the arse lately, then I apologise.
But...having said that, I'm not quite sure if I can change it, because it is me.
I don't want to lose any friendships over it.
Right...I've said my bit. Ball's now in your court.
I just want this illness to go away, so I can become "me" again. I've lost myself.